updates and my chance to see Eddie

I know I have been absent for a long while my life has been torn upside-down. In the last 2+ months I have filed for divorce, moved out, graduated, took 2 certification tests and taken some much needed time for myself as well as started working at the clinic I did my internship at. These are all good things.

Rob and I are going to be fine… as friends. We talk everyday and txt often. I think he is ready for all of my stuff to be gone from the house but that will happen soon enough. We had a hearing on August 6^th to get the divorce stuff figured out. The Judge signed off and we will be getting the paper work sometime here.

I graduated on June 25^th. On the 26^th I went on the annual vacation with friends and family to the north shore. I have mentioned it here before. We went up on Friday and came home on Tuesday. It was amazing. I got to chill with as my mom puts it “My family of choice”. The Cross-etts (all 8 of them), the Tennessen clan, Roger Doger and last but not least… Lois J. We played Todd ball and sat around the fire. I had the best and most well needed sleep.

We got back on Tuesday and on that Wednesday I checked in to the hotel where Convergence was going to be held. I spent the next 5 days/nights at the hotel getting my geek on. I realized just how much I missed my geeks. I hung out with the gang but also got to hang with my mom my real brother and my little brothers (My mom’s best friends kids) Pack and Andrew. It was great! I can’t wait for next year.

A few week later I went to Nebraska to visit my Grands. It was good to see them I haven’t been down to see them in a while. Mom and I managed to not argue/try to kill each other.. always a bonus.

Last week I spent time in Lansing MI with one of my oldest and closest friends, Eddie. Eddie moved away between 7^th and 8^th grade, after that we wrote each other letters (yes in the days before email). I would write him 10-15 pages at a time. There were times when I would start writing him letters but I never would get around to sending them and those letters turned into my love for free writing and how I have managed to keep journals. Every “journal” entry is started with “Hey You” and always written as if I was writing to Eddie to tell him all the ups and downs of my life and help talk myself through whatever it is that I am dealing with. Eddie and I lost touch but reconnected again and I went to visit him in 2001, it was the first time I had seen him since he moved away in Jr. High. It was a great time and then it was another 8+ years before once of us got it together to visit the other. It’s easy to see that my life has been a rollercoaster this year and I really needed time to spend with one of my best friends. It was great! I got to meet his friends and it was really great to get some faces to match the names.

Our friendship is a very unique one. Our entire relationship is based on communication. Through letters and phone calls. We have always been 100% honest with each other because we don’t know any of the other people, just names. The only concern we have is for each other. There also is no judgment. The good the bad and the ugly, it doesn’t matter. Ours is an unconditional love and I am not talking romantically. I have someone who I can talk freely with without fear of judgment... who knows every ugly secret and it doesn't change how he interacts with me... someone who will not tell me what I want to hear but the truth no matter how much it hurts... That is what is rare and the true meaning of unconditional love. I have been lucky to find that and be able to hold on to it for 20 years.

Finding that oasis in Lansing last week, was an amazing thing. I was able to step back from the worries and stresses that are a part of everyday. The stress of starting a new life and trying to keep my sanity. I didn’t know coming home would hit me as hard as it did. It is tempting to just run away, but that is not the answer to anything.

Oh and by the way I PASSED MY NATIONAL CERT TEST!!! I AM A CVT!

Birthday Tattoo

I am getting a tattoo. I am going to get “Clyde” scripted somewhere. I haven’t figured out where yet. You see I have a favorite uncle, Uncle Bob, he is my mother’s older brother and he is one of the coolest people on the face of the planet. We have teased for years that we would get matching tattoos on our asses, this one will NOT be on my ass. I just thought it would neat to honor him with a tattoo. The only problem with that idea is that his first name is Robert, the same name as my husband. As you all know the #1 way to doom a relationship is to get the other person’s name permanently engraved on your body, so I can’t do that because I don’t want to end up divorced. That is why I decided Clyde was the way to go. It’s UB’s middle name and also a family name on my mother’s side. It’s actually going to be double birthday tattoo. UB’s birthday is 3 days before mine so my gift to him will be my getting Clyde tattooed on me. My birthday gift is the fact that I get to honor one of my favorite people.

The Olympics

I really hadn't planned on watching much of the Olympics. I like gymnastics and diving so I knew I would tune in to that. Before the Olympics started I planned on hating Michael Phelps, because I HATE the tv ad with the Phelps fan. But I have to admit I got hooked on watching him swim and more then once almost woke up Rob when I was watching the meets in bed. It's fun watching our guys (err.. people) kick ass. I am looking forward to the track and field events. There are still some events I don't understand why they are Olympic events, like handball, beach volleyball and trampoline. I want to know when kickball and dodgeball will become Olympic sports...

and so it goes

I have piles of homework, powerpoint to put together, I have the house to myself and I can't seem to put the laptop down.

This hasn't been the hardest quarter I have had but I am finding it so hard to get things done. I am sure it has something to do with having to take classses about animals I do not care about. I really have no interest in horses and production animal. I have to do a power point on Jousting. YUCK and I really don't care.

I also managed to pull/tear a tendon in my foot and that alone has put me in a crappy mood!

stuck in my head...

Last night I had the strangest dream
I sailed away to China
In a little row boat to find ya
And you said you had to get your laundry cleaned
Didn't want no-one to hold you
What does that mean
And you said

Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride
Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no
I got to keep on movin'
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
I'm running and I won't touch ground
Oh-no, I got to keep on movin'

You're on a roll and now you pray it lasts
The road behind was rocky
But now you're feeling cocky
You look at me and you see your past
Is that the reason why you're runnin' so fast
And she said

Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride
Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no
I got to keep on movin'
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
I'm running and I won't touch ground
Oh-no, I got to keep on movin'

Never let another girl like you, work me over
Never let another girl like you, drag me under
If I meet another girl like you, I will tell her
Never want another girl like you, have to say
Ooooooh

Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride
Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no
I got to keep on movin'
Ain't nothin' gonna break my strideI'm running and I won't touch ground
Oh-no, I got to keep on movin'

song by Matthew Wilder


you have to love one hit wonders

It was midnight in the Howling forest....

The wind whistled through the tops of the ancient trees. Suddenly, something enormous crashed and rumbled through the eerie woods.

I was flipping through the guide on my TV and came across one of my all time favorite movies, The Neverending Story. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this movie so I turned it on.

The first thing that hit me was how much I miss movies where all the players in the movie interact on real sets. There is some CGI but all the characters are really there, even if they are puppets. That is was irks me about the new Star Wars movies.

The second thing, they went to the first break and “The Neverending Story brought to you by Preperation H” I am confused as to the demographic they are going for.

And last.. I want to name my next cat Atreyu