I need a week off.

I don’t really take vacations. I visit Eddie in Lansing for a weekend or two a year. I have Convergence in July but as fun as that is I wouldn’t call it a completely relaxing experience. The shore isn’t as relaxing and stress free as it was when I was younger. I need one of those don’t go anywhere and putter around the house kind of vacations. Me, the cats, awful TV and no where to be. I have hit my stress limit. Everything is stressing me out and I think a week of sleeping in might just help.


I don’t get that much vacation time and it is tied to my sick time. I can’t afford to take a week off but my tax returns might be just what I need to take the time. I am also moving in March and neeeeed to get my apartment together. I have to decide what I can live without for short-term, long-term and what will go away forever. Taking a week to sort things on my terms will also reduce stress.

Just talked to the boss… It’s just a matter of getting my shifts covered.

and so it goes

I have piles of homework, powerpoint to put together, I have the house to myself and I can't seem to put the laptop down.

This hasn't been the hardest quarter I have had but I am finding it so hard to get things done. I am sure it has something to do with having to take classses about animals I do not care about. I really have no interest in horses and production animal. I have to do a power point on Jousting. YUCK and I really don't care.

I also managed to pull/tear a tendon in my foot and that alone has put me in a crappy mood!

Fired

I have quit many jobs, I have moved away from jobs, I have been harassed out of jobs and I have even been layed off… but I had never been fired… until today. The kicker is I LOVED that job. This is the first job in my lifetime that I actully question my abilities but I was so eager to learn and be good at it. I guess I wasn’t. I had my 90 days and they told me that I wasn’t up to par so they were taking the option to not keep me on. THAT SUCKS!!!! I called my mom, dad and rob and cried to them as I was driving home. Then mom talked me into going in to school and talk to my teachers (most of whom had worked at one point at this clinic) and they reasured me that my lack of success at being an assistant should not make me rethink my abilities about being a Vet Tech, and in fact one of my favorite techs from the clinic just left to become a teacher at the school and gave me a hug and told me in the long run this is a good thing. That made me feel better and then I found my girls and they all gave me hugs and told me to go get drunk, I love my girls!!!

So here is the plan, I am going to eat guacamole, drink margarits, eat chocolate cheesecake and take the next week off!

Cheers!

Long Term Re-cap part 1 cont.

I was looking around my emails and I was wrong. Chris did try to contact me again in 2004
3/31/2004 Chris wrote:
Heather,
Thought I would e-mail you on a lark and see how you are doing. I suppose if you don't want to chat, then I won't hear much from you. I'm still in Japan, though not for much longer. Life is progressing well, though I am ready for a change of scenery. I am definitely looking forward to my new duty station. Hope all is well. If you have a mind to do so, please give my regards to your family. Thanks. Chris

My response:
In my honest opinion, I was hoping you would get shot down in Iraq. That way you would REALLY never pop back up again. For the FINAL TIME (again) I want nothing to do with you. My family wants nothing to do with you


Because I haven't heard from him in the last 4 years (almost to the day) I am thinking it worked. :)

ugh

Blah!

I am having a bad fucking day. I thought yesterday was going to be my shit day of the week. I guess not. Fists of all the talker is DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!!!!!!! All week she has been telling us that her grandfather is dying, and that her grandmother is in denial and to add to the denial her grandmother is crazy… really? In your family I never would have guessed. That was then followed by all the prescriptions the talker is on. The same statement was made in every single one of my classes. Twice she “told” me but I never looked up and I had my headphones on. When I didn’t and she started telling the girl who sits next to me.. on would go the headphones and all I wanted to do was bang my head on the table. This girl even talks through tests, I have no idea who the hell she is talking to. So today I guess her boyfriend drove her to school… gag and during breaks she would walk over to him as he was reading and like pick at his head. She would cover the bald spot then uncover it then part it in the middle and he just sat there turning beat red.

Then I went to work today and tried to turn in to a parking spot in the ramp and did this to my car. I hoping it is mostly paint transfer that we will be able to fix. I just wanted to cry.

Now I just want go home, go to bed and maybe even get a good night sleep. Please?

GRUDGE

Part of Speech: noun
Definition: bitterness
Synonyms: animosity, animus, antipathy, aversion, bad blood, dislike, enmity, grievance, hard feelings, hate, hatred, ill will, injury, injustice, malevolence, malice, maliciousness, malignancy, peeve, pet peeve, pique, rancor, resentment, spite, spitefulness, spleen, venom

Grudges, I am full of them, and I hold them for a long time. In the last year my mother has been trying to convince me that I should forgive a childhood friend (she wasn’t really my friend but a daughter of my parents friends who was also my age), this girl was mean and a bully. She liked making the other girls at my birthday parties cry and when I was 5 or 6 I was at her house and she locked me in her parents room and wouldn’t let me leave, I was in hysterics. When my parents decided I was old enough to choose my own friends I no longer had anything to do with her. I hate her to this day and I still want nothing to do with her. I don’t care that she has signed up to save the world through the Peace Corp or whatever. There is nothing she can do that will make me forget/forgive what she did to me when I had no say in whether I wanted to be around her. Yes it seems petty that 25-27 years later I am so adamant about my feelings, but when I hear my parents talk about how wonderful she is I can’t help but feel like that little girl screaming and pounding on that bedroom door begging to be let out and just go home. I see no reason to change my opinions about people who royally fucked me over. The guy who molested me when I was 13 could find the cure for cancer, AIDS and world hunger, I still want him dead. All those kids who treated me like shit at my parents church and the assholes from high school, I don’t want to hear about them. I just don’t care. For some reason my folks have a hard time understanding that I don’t want an update on the people who treated me like crap or thought they were better than me. I have spent my time clearing my life of people like that for a reason.

But then there is Kate. That was a whole other issue. I managed to get over that because I had to ask myself, what had Kate really done to me that earned my being so angry. The simple fact was, she had done nothing. We spent four very intense and emotional (it was high school) years together. There wasn’t a day that we didn’t see each other or at least spend an hour on the phone. Then we graduated and went on to separate schools and paths in life. We tried for awhile to make each other fit, but life being what it is it just wasn’t working and that hurt. A lot. It always hurts when someone important to you moves on without you. The anger (at least for me) came from not understanding why something that was important in my life was no longer as important in hers, and the other way around as well. From there the we just got stubborn. As adults (and yes Kate we qualify as adults) we were finally able to accept that we now can fit. Will we end up like Mom & Molly?? Who knows, but we will always have a connection.

The moral of the story?? I guess it’s just don’t screw me over. And if you do, I am not going to care what you are doing 5, 10, 15 or 25 years later.

I’m the schmuck

Yeah… It started on Wednesday night. I was all ready to go to bed when I opened my pill box to find I was out of my sleeping pills. Now I NEEEEEEEED my sleeping pills otherwise I sleep really hard for 2 hour wake up with a nasty migraine type headache that wont go away and then I can’t go back to sleep. It was 11 at night and I REALLY didn’t want to run Walgreens again, like the last 2 times my sleep pills ran out. I don’t think about them until it’s time to take them and then I end up at Walgreens at midnight. Anyway, I didn’t want to go so I got the bright idea to take the samples Rob’s doc gave him that didn’t work for him. Only I think… I have to take double doses of my normal sleep meds so I should take double of the sample meds because one didn’t work for Rob. Whoops!! First they made my legs really twitchy, then I finally fell asleep but it was crazy. I now know where they came up with their ad campaign, from someone who took the meds. It wasn’t exactly Abe Lincoln and a talking beaver but damn close. When I woke up I felt like SHIT. I would say a 6.5 on the pain scale. When I left for work I still felt under the influence of the meds and as I drove I almost lost what little coffee I had managed to drink. So I called Manager and tell him how I felt that I am half way there but don’t think I can make it can I call in sick. He told me no. HE TOLD ME NO. We had a tech flying in to work on our server and he NEEDED me to be there. I said I was going to be less then useless and he said that was ok. So I sat at work all day Thursday drinking ginger ale and tried not to get sick. I almost lost it twice while sitting in the weekly staff meeting. The tech’s flight was delayed and I kept asking if I could go home, “if he is not here by 5 you can go”. He got here at 445. DAMN IT!!! At 6 Manager said he had to go and I had to stay until the tech was done. I was less then happy. When Manager left I told the tech I was having a bad attitude day, but to his benefit I didn’t care if he took us off the air and/or fried the server. Luckily Tech said he had done all he could do for the night at 740, so I did end up working 8 full hours. When I got home at 815 I still couldn’t keep anything down and felt like the meds had me (as my hubby likes to say) by the booboo’s. Knowing how bad I felt and that I was going to pass out as soon as I hit the pillow, I backed out of lunch with my buddy Bret on Friday (today). I SUCK. I did get my pills and I did get some real sleep, like 14 hours. But I suck… and I owe Bret a beer.

Talk about a hell of a week

I am working 2-10 all week due to live programming I have to be at work for. It’s ok I like live programming but it sucks because this week Rob is working 7a-7pm on Thursday and Friday, meaning he will be in bed by the time I get home and I will need tv time before I can go to bed. The way this is going to work is Wednesday and Thursday nights I will most likely be sleeping on the couch until Rob gets up at 5am. I do this because I can not sleep without the TV on. If Rob and I go to bed at the same time he can deal if I turn it down and have the CC on but I can’t walk into the room at 2am and turn the TV on, that would wake him up and that really isn’t fair. I don’t have to leave for work until 1pm so taking a nap on the couch wont kill me, just my back J.

Yesterday while I was walking into work I managed to trip over air and I pulled the tendons across the top of my right foot. This in its self is not all that odd. I have torn and pulled every tendon in both feet countless times, starting with cheerleading in high school. It has gotten to the point where a strong breeze can tear the tendons. So I knew I had done something (other then embarrass the hell out of myself) but it didn’t feel too bad. Until about 3 hours later. I had a bunch of paper work to do when I came in so I wasn’t up and walking around. Then The Boss called saying he had left his keys in his office could I come to the front and let him in. I stood up… and almost fell down. Damn did that HURT, I guess my foot was swollen. When I got home I couldn’t bend my toes without pain shooting up my leg. Today there is a lovely shade of purple-green-brown going across my foot.

Not only am I walking funny but I look like I have been sobbing for hours on end. I haven’t, my allergies are kicking my ass. I have gone through 2 boxes of tissues and I my nose feels like I took a belt sander to it. The Boss asked if me every thing was ok, I sneezed and told him everything is fine. Allergy attacks always leave me feeling drained. All I want to do right now is crawl under the desk and take a nap. My theory on not felling well… when in doubt, sleep through it. Or take a steaming hot bath then sleep through it. If I am still this bad tomorrow I might call in dead. I have taken 2 forms of allergy meds and nothing is working. I have plenty of sick time stored up and can’t handle the idea of trying to work another day like this. I think I am working myself into migraine

Decades Of Debt Day

This should be titled “how Coworker can even fuck up my day off”

Earlier this morning I checked my work email and I had one from Manager saying his Pop was in the hospital and wouldn’t be able to make it into work and asked if I could log in remotely and set things up so Coworker only would have a little extra to do. As soon as I read that I turned to hubby and said “10 bucks says Coworker doesn’t even show up today.” I logged in and did what was asked and figured ignorance is bless and left it at that. This afternoon we met with the Financial aid people. I signed on the computerized line, got all the loans I needed, and I am starting school on July 16th. It wasn’t what I would call fun but it was necessary. I wanted to go out for drinks after but we couldn’t because we had a notary coming to the house at 6pm because we were also refinancing our mortgage. At 515 Manager calls me and tells me he just got a message on his cell that his boss The Boss had called and said that it was 5pm and no one had showed up at work today, could I rush into work and get things set up. You see Coworker (and you’ll hear more in part 2) doesn’t have a phone, no not a cell phone (he doesn’t have that either) a real phone, so work has no way to get a hold of him. When The Boss checked our area there was a hand written note that said “I’ll be a little late – Coworker” He had no way to find out what “a little late” meant. The Boss called Manager, whose cell phone was turned off because he was at the hospital, telling him it was 5 and no one had been into work all day. Why he didn’t just call me I don’t know but that is ok. The problem was we had the guy coming over in less then an hour there was no way I could get there and back in time so I told Manager that as soon as I was finished up I would haul ass in to work. He was cool with that, frankly he had bigger things to deal with. Just before 6 my gut told me to call work. It was 6 hours after Coworker should have been at work that could still be considered a “little late”, in his pea brain anyway. Sure as shit… fucker finally showed his ass up at work. This is when flames started screaming out of my ears. It went like this:

CW – Control room
Me - So you got shit covered because I really don’t have the time to go in to work
CW - What are you talking about
Me – The Boss called Manager because no one has been in so no work was done today and The Boss is pissed.
CW – Why would The Boss be pissed and where was Manager
Me – Read your email. Managers dad is in the hospital so he couldn’t make it in, you didn’t show up to work and no one can get a hold of you.
CW – The email was sent at 1109 last night.
Me – well do you have shit covered? Because I can’t deal with this
CW – Yes I have...
(click)
That is when I hung up. I was so pissed off I was shaking, my whole body was hot and I was shaking. I tried Manager and his cell phone was turned off, just then the notary pulled up. Great.. my head hurt and I was still shaking because jackass had the nerve to be pissed at ME? I stepped out side so they could get set up and I called Manager to leave a voicemail saying I called work, jackass was there, he was playing innocent, was pissed at me for telling him The Boss was pissed off, was likely also pissed because I hung up on him, and if things didn’t get done tonight it was my fault because I took him on his word when he said the shit was covered. I walked back in to the house to sign papers for the house…still livid.

We’re sitting there the guy seems nice enough… sign this… initial that… sign this… So have you heard that there is no REAL LAW saying we have to pay income taxes?? No where in the tax code does it say it’s a law and the IRS knows that and there have been lawsuits proving they know that. And did you know that They want to get rid of the Dollar and join up with Mexico and Canada to use the Amero (like the Euro only CRAZY!!!!!!!!!) Sign this… initial that… and on and on he went. I was looking around for the duct tape I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head… How the hell did my day end up like this?? What Pharos’ cat did I run over in a former life to earn me this amount of CRAZY??? We waited until we heard his car drive away and fell on the floor laughing. I grabbed my Dr McGillicuddy’s Cherry schnapps filled the glass and added a splash of 7up for color and sat down at my computer. When I checked my email this is what I found sent to me only

All Monday was my fault; if I had emailed Manager and cc’ed The Boss on Sunday pm when I knew I could not make it in until Monday pm, you guys would have covered and we wouldn’t have had an empty control room half the day.

Further, if I had left my emergency contact# (867.555.5309 BTW) someone could have at least gotten a hold of me.

I was wrong on both counts and I am sorry I caused any trouble-

Coworker

I sent this to Manager and The Boss with the message
This is not my problem, you two deal with it

I closed my email and put Shark Tale in the DVD player, mixed another drink and started typing. I feel better, but I also know that as much as jackass SHOULD get fired he’ll slime his way out. That is ok, I am on the road to getting the hell out and that (and the booze) is great feeling

BLAH!!!!!