Time flies

It is amazing how life has changed.  10 years ago I was with my ex-husband just starting our relationship and talking about moving in together and maybe buying a  house.  Now look at us,  he is married I am getting married and we have never been happier. Who knew that a divorce is what we needed to find our way in the world.

I don't know if he sees it that way but I do.  We weren't truly happy, I don't think we ever really were.  We wanted to be adults and not alone and that lead us to each other.  I was never a good wife to him.  I just wasn't ready but I had been in too many one sided relationships and I found someone who wanted it as much as I did so it seemed right.  Right for all the right reasons.

Fast forward to Usually.  4 years into the relationship and I have never felt restless or like I am missing out.  I am not looking or even noticing if there are options.  The guys I found comfort in while married are  frozen solid in the friend zone.  I never thought I would find someone who was enough. I guess I always thought I would settle for 3-4 years at a time and then move on.  It's what I did.  Emphasis on did.

Growth and being an adult,  who knew it didn't have to suck.

Invasion

I kinda feel like my bar is being invaded. Not by masses of douche bags, just people.  They are friends of friends. If they didn't know anyone from the crew I wouldn't even notice them. The person they know only comes here because of me. The Person had their own bar before meeting me. I guess it boils down to control issues. The bar is my oasis,  where I go to relax... I am being completely selfish and I am aware of this. I am not asking anyone to leave. I just have so little of just mine.
I have one friend left that is just mine. He has met the crew once but he is mine. I don't get to see him as often as I would like but that is OK.

"Forgiveness" Vs. "Permission"

The phrase “it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission” I think needs to be removed from everyones playbook and in it’s place should be “I am about to do something that will either hurt or upset you and I really hope damaging my relationship will be worth it. “. It is doing something with the 100% certainty of disrespecting the one you are hoping to get “forgiveness” from.  How is this ever OK? When is it ever not being sneaky? if the roles were reversed would give “forgiveness”?  It’s not even something I want joked about around me. It makes me wonder just how much respect do have for the relationship if it is something you are willing to do despite the other person's feelings.

I also hate the word permission. There is a difference between “permission” and just giving a heads up.   “Hey I am...” is not the same as “Is it ok if I...?” . I would like to think it is easy to tell the difference.  You know the stereotype: guys give other guy shit for “asking permission to stay out” when he wants to tell whoever he has at home it’ll be awhile so don’t worry.

It all boils down to respect. Have enough respect for the person you are with to not be sneaky or just to tell them what the hell is going on. In this day you don’t even have to call, go to the bathroom and send a text then the “guys” can’t give you shit about it.

::::rant over:::::

What People Don't Ask

People ask me all the time about what we do when someone brings in a pet to be euthanized that seems more like a convenience for the person then the really for the sake of the animal. Those don't get to me that much. Mostly because it doesn't happen as often as some think. What really gets to me and makes me want to cry is when an animal is suffering and it's people can't bring themselves to make the decision.  We had a cat with bleeding, inflamed and tumor fill ear canals, it didn't matter how many times the vet told her that the cat was suffering she just wanted us to give the cat something. I know letting go of an animal is hard but I can't don't know how I could look at my cat knowing that he was in that kind of pain. I understand she thinks she is doing what is best. I just wish I could have done more for him, made the pain stop. It isn't up to me in the end and that is hard.  It just cements the limits I am willing to put my animals through. That doesn't mean I am quick to pull the trigger, I hope it means I am more in tune when the choice needs to be made.

Good times (for once)

I know I don't blog regularly but I have a really good reason... life is pretty damn good. In less than a month I will have been with my boyfriend Usually for 2 years. A lot of things have happened in that 2 years. The most amazing thing is normally at this point of a relationship I start to get bored, there is nothing about us that I am bored with. I look forward to seeing him everyday after I get off work, I miss him when he goes to the cabin with his family and I still get butterflies when he walks in a room. It is also the most healthy relationship, the most two way equal relationship. With the ex-hub I was his only social outlet and I have a hard time entertaining myself all of the time let alone be someone else's sole source of entertainment. Usually has his own hobbies and things he likes to do with out me and that is GREAT. We have great friends who will hang out with both of us or just one of us. I can't believe my life is this stable and that I can also be this happy. I have had some changes to my brain chemistry in the last year. I have started having the occasional panic attacks and Usually has been so supportive and understanding.

We agree on 2 very important relationship critical things
#1 Neither of us want children
#2 Neither of us want to get married.

I truly believe that we are going to be one of those couples that are together for 50 years and never needed that piece of paper.

Now if his company/insurance would just recognize domestic partnerships we'd be good.

Smiles,
HK

P.S. the ex-hubby has re-married... and her name is Heather. Freaky I know   

Oh, BTW you're Rude!

One of the rudest things people do to their pets care givers is the “oh, by the way...”


Oh, I brought my other dog along it’ll just be quick; he hasn’t peed in 3 days.

Oh, I know he is scheduled for his shots but he has this open wound on the back of his leg, he has really bad allergies and peeing in the house. I know I said on the phone that nothing was going on but I remembered on the way in today that I wanted to talk to the Vet about these things.

I figured since I was bringing the one pet in I would bring them all in and see what every one is due for. Um Ma’am we only have time for one and not 3 animals it’s only a 20 minute appointment.

Do people make appointments with their MD and just bring in the other child just for a quick check???

Do people think that little of our time?? We pride ourselves on not making our clients wait. People seem to get cranky (rightfully so) if they have to wait 30mins for a 20 min appointment.

Also when you make an appointment and say several times that you are bringing 2 dogs at 9am and absolutely must be done by 9:40 don’t show up at 10 after 9 and cop an attitude.