The phrase “it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission” I think needs to be removed from everyones playbook and in it’s place should be “I am about to do something that will either hurt or upset you and I really hope damaging my relationship will be worth it. “. It is doing something with the 100% certainty of disrespecting the one you are hoping to get “forgiveness” from. How is this ever OK? When is it ever not being sneaky? if the roles were reversed would give “forgiveness”? It’s not even something I want joked about around me. It makes me wonder just how much respect do have for the relationship if it is something you are willing to do despite the other person's feelings.
I also hate the word permission. There is a difference between “permission” and just giving a heads up. “Hey I am...” is not the same as “Is it ok if I...?” . I would like to think it is easy to tell the difference. You know the stereotype: guys give other guy shit for “asking permission to stay out” when he wants to tell whoever he has at home it’ll be awhile so don’t worry.
It all boils down to respect. Have enough respect for the person you are with to not be sneaky or just to tell them what the hell is going on. In this day you don’t even have to call, go to the bathroom and send a text then the “guys” can’t give you shit about it.